Interview with the Cullens and Jacob
by goshyourlipslookdelicious
Summary: An interview with the Cullens, and of course Jacob Black.
1. First day of interviewing

**A/N: I AM THE ALMIGHTY STEPHE- *men in white suits come and try to take me away* fine. I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I own none of these characters... Dang! Haha. Well. Enjoy! (: (P.S. Read my story Junior Year!) **

**Oh. Characters;**

**EC ; Edward Cullen  
JB ; Jacob Black  
JH ; Jasper Hale  
EM ; Emmett Cullen  
RH ; Rosalie Hale  
CC ; Carlisle Cullen  
RE ; Renesmee Cullen  
****BC ; Bella Cullen  
AC ; Alice Cullen****  
**

**

* * *

****IWSB:** Hello everyone, and welcome to iWantSparklyBabies' interview with the Cullens. Oh! And Jacob. Let's go in a circle and say our names for… Just do it.

**EC: **Hello, I'm Edward Cullen.

**JB:** Hey… I'm Jacob Black.

**JH:** Hi. I am Jasper Hale.

**EM:** Wassup, yo'?! I'm Emmett Cullen!

**CC:** Good evening, I'm Carlisle Cullen.

**ES:** Hello, Carly. I'm Esme Cullen.

**RH: **…Um, why the hell did you drag me here, Emmett? *scoff* Psh, you better know who I am, bitch!

**EM:** Cm'on babe. All she wants is an interview it's not like we're having an… Lemme count… Eleven-some… Right, Carly?

**IWSB:** Um, well we don't have to… I was planning on it though! *thinks to self* _Shit! They caught me… Well! Fuck. I'll just say I wasn't going to... _Haha. Just kidding, no we're not.

**AC: **Okay, anyways… 'Ello. Hehe. I'm Alice Cullen.

**BC: **Hey! I'm Bella Cullen.

**RE: **Hi, Carly! I'm Renesmee. But call me Nessie for short.

**BC: ***mumbles* I still hate that nickname for her! Stupid Jake.

**IWSB: **Um… Anyways. Let's get started! Oh, before I throw the questions out there… there's one in particular that I need to ask Edward… Edward, will you marry me? *pulls out a enormous ring and Edward gasps.*

**EC: **Um, darling, that's a ring for a bride…  
**  
IWSB: **Hehe, I know. So. Will you?

**EC: **But Bella…

**BC: **Sorry, hon. He's all mine.

**IWSB: **Go home, Bella. Just go home.

**EC: **Well, now that you mention it… Bella, you're kind of a… Well, it's gonna break my heart to say this… But you're a slut, Bella.

**BC: ***scoff* Well! You're… You're a… Ugh! You're too perfect to insult! So you… Don't want me?

**EC: **I'd rather have her. Her scent… It's like 200 times more tempting than yours. No offense. You still smell amazing. But. I think I might want her…

**IWSB: ***to self* yes! :)

**BC: **Fine! I'll just go to the Volturi…

**EC: **Bella! N-

**IWSB: ***leaps on Edward and starts making out with him.*

**EC: ***muffled* Get the hell out Bella!

**BC: **Fine! Bye, Edward.

**AC:** Well that was interesting…

**EM: **Psh, tell me about it. Haha.

**RH: **FINE! If we're not gonna talk about me I'm gonna leave. C'mon Emmett!

**EM: **Yes, Rose.

*Emmett and Rosalie leave…*

**CC: **So… Carly. Are you going to ask some questions?

**IWSB: ***Pulls away from Edward, panting.* Yes! Hah, sorry, we got… Distracted. :) Okay, so. I've been wondering… When a girl, not vampire, is on her period, can you tell? And does it attract you?

**EC: **Carlisle, you're the doctor, you explain it. :)

**CC:** Okay… Carly, period blood is considered "dead blood" so it does not attract vampires. And we can't tell when a girl is on hers, either. Our senses only pick up potent blood.

**IWSB: **Thank you, Carlisle. Okay, next question. Umm… Alice. How do you afford all your clothes and shoes and everything? Do you have a job?

**AC: **Um… Carlisle gives me money… :)

**CC: **A doctor's a high paying job, sweetie. Especially when you're the best in the state.

**IWSB: **Well of course :) Jacob! Question for you! Um… if you could do one thing to Bella without Edward caring, and now he won't cause they're not together *winks at Edward*, what would you do?

**JB: **Oh, that's a tough one. Um, well, *glares at Edward* I would SO nail her. I would like nail her until dawn breaks! Haha.

**EC: ***scoffs* Woah.

**JB: **Yeah… Haha. Sorry, buddy. You got Carly. *whispers in Edwards ear* Dude. You're lucky. But I have Jolie… Man do I love her. :) (A/N: There you go Jolie! Aha.)

**IWSB: **Okay then! Um… Esme! I got a question for you. Um… Do you think I would make a good daughter in law? *winks at Edward*

**EC: ***winks back with a smile*

**ES: **Well. I haven't really known you for all that long… But so far, yes. You are very welcoming and you seem trustworthy. And you'd make a great vampire. :)

**IWSB: **Why, thank you.

**ES: **You're very welcome! Haha.

**IWSB: **Um… Jacob! I gots another question for you! So… How DO you get your abs? Like, does it come with the whole werewolf thing? Or did you have to work for it?

**JB: **Ahh. Good question. I had to work for it, definitely. Psh, I wish it would've come with the "package." Haha.

**IWSB: **Haha. Thank you. Now, a question for Renesmee!

**RC: **Yeah?

**IWSB: **How did you feel about Jacob imprinting you?

**RE: **Well, I love my Jakey. He's like a brother/protector to me. He always makes sure to keep me out of harms way. *looks at Jacob lovingly*

**JB: ***smiles a humongous grin* I love you too, Nessie. :)

**IWSB: **Um, Jasper. I haven't asked you a question yet! How did you feel about almost attacking Bella at her birthday party?

**JH: **Well, darling, that's not something you can get over, but I apologized... It took her a while but she forgave me. I'm glad I have better self control now.

**IWSB: **Thank you, Jasper. :)

**CC: **Well! Look at the time! I think me and Esme have some… Business to take care of… *winks at Esme*

**ES: **Oh, yes. That… Thing we have to do!

**CC: **Nice meeting you, Carly. I'll be looking forward to seeing you again, *glares at Edward* right Edward?

**EC: **Yes, Carlisle. :)

**ES: **As will I. Bye, everyone.

*Carlisle and Esme leave*

**IWSB: **Bye Esme and Carlisle! So, that concludes our interview for today! Be sure to come back for more, soon to come. :) Thank you all! And I'll see you all again soon.

* * *

**A/N: I'll post more chapters eventually! Thank you for reading :)**


	2. The Cullens and some guests

**A/N: If I was Stephenie Meyer, the entire Twilight Saga would be me and Edward making out... or doing other things...(:  
So no, I'm not Stephenie Meyer *sobs*. Anyways... Read and review. (:**

**Character List :**

**IWSB: iWantSparklyBabies (me.)**  
**EC ; Edward Cullen  
JB ; Jacob Black  
JH ; Jasper Hale  
RE ; Renesmee Cullen  
AC ; Alice Cullen**

**

* * *

**

**IWSB: **Hello everyone, and welcome to our second day of interviews!

**EC: **Hello, Carly. *Grins and scoots closer to carly.*

**JB: **Hey!

**RE: **Hi Carly. :)

**JH: **Good evening.

**AC: **Its time, its time!

*akward silence...*

**IWSB: **Really, Alice? I know that's your _catchphrase _and what not, but really?

**AC: **Hehe, sorry.

**IWSB: **Anyways... How is everyone? :)

*everyone mutters fine, except for Jacob...*

**JB: ***really low voice* Urgh, stupid wolves... Ugh.

**IWSB: **Is something wrong...?

**JB: **Oh, um... Yeah...

**IWSB: **Wanna tell anyone about it?

**JB: **Well... I just kind of found out Seth is... Well, gay. And he has a thing for me... He says my abs are to die for and he wants my ass...

**IWSB: **Um, Jake... TMI...

**JB: **Sorry... Now all the others in the pack keep making fun of me... Its aggravating...

**EC: ***snickers*

**JB: **Something funny, Cullen?!

**EC: ***clears throaat* No...

**JB: **What's so funny?! *growls*

**EC: **Nothing! Carly, start with the questions...

**IWSB: ***says lovingly* okay... :) Um, Alice! What is your favorite type of shoe?

**AC: **Um, well, I'm a big fan of Prada...

**IWSB: **Good to know. Hehe. Umm... Jasper. How does it feel to be able to alter anyone's feelings at any given moment?

**JH: **I absolutely love it. *stares in to IWSB's eyes*

**IWSB: ***strange mood change, now feels kind of loopy...* Edward, you're so _dreeeaaamyyyyy! _Do you wear contacts? :D

**JH: ***looks away from IWSB*

**IWSB: **Ahh... Hey! Jasper!! Why the hell did you do that?!

**JC: **That was kind of hilarious... :)

**AC: **Jazz! What did I tell you before we got here?!

**JH: **To not do that... *slumps shoulders*

**AC: **And what did you do?!

**JH: **I did it...

**AC: **Come on, we're leaving. Bye Carly! It was nice meeting you. :)

**IWSB: **Bye, Alice and Jasper!

**EC: **No, hon. I don't wear contacts... *grins*

**IWSB: **Moving on! Um... Edward... Will you marry me? I know I already asked you, but you never really replied... You just made Bella leave and we made out... :)

**EC: **Ahh. I'll have to talk to you after the interview... *winks*

**IWSB: **Hehe. :) Okay. Jacob. Who's your least favorite Cullen?

**JB: **Blondie, no doubt... How do you drown a blonde? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pond!

**IWSB: **What a shock. :)

**JB: **Ahh. Haha. *Jolie walks in* JOLIE! AHHHHHH. I'VE MISSED YOU!!! *runs to Jolie*

**Jolie: **Jakey-Poo! It's been a whole...*Looks at watch* 2 hours! D:

**JB: ***picks Jolie up and squeezes her.*

**Jolie:** *gasps for air.*

**JB: **Sorry, babe. *lets her down* Wanna watch the interview?

**IWSB: **Actually... It's about time to be wrapping up...

**JB: **Well. Okay. Tomorrow, then?

**IWSB: **Sounds good. :)

**Sabrina the Teenage Witch: ***comes running through the door* Am I late? Are you... *looks at invitation* Jane?

**IWSB: **Hon, you have the wrong interview...

**Sabrina: **Oh... Well, I sensed vampires in here... Sorry.

**IWSB: **Wait. Are you an actual witch!?

**Sabrina: **Umm. Yeah. But you're not supposed to- *turns into a mouse* Shit! You're not supposed to know about that...

**IWSB: **Is there another mythical creature I should know about?!

**EC: **Well...

***Charlie the Unicorn runs through the doors***

**Charlie: **SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUN!

**EC: **Yeah... Him.

**IWSB: **Fuck. Haha. I believe in you Charlie! Don't shun me! :)

**Charlie: **Ehh. Okay. *trots out*

**IWSB: **Now! We need to end this before anything else happens...

***A random potato with legs co-**

**IWSB: **No. Don't even try to interrupt me anymore!... Bye everyone. See y'all tomorrow. :)

*everyone leaves except Edward and Carly*

*...after the interview, alone, Carly and Edward are making out...*

**EC: ***moans* Carly! Yes I'll marry you! Ahh. I love you so much! *keeps kissing carly*

**IWSB: **I... AHH... I d-d-dream about being-g with you forever! :)

**EC: **Then I'll change you! Just on one condition...

**IWSB: **Yes! Anything for you! :D *pants*

**EC: **You must... Ahh. This is difficult... You must marry me first. :)

**IWSB: **Umm, hunny. I just said I would. Lets go to Vegas! What am I going to tell my parents. AHH! I love you! *dives on top of Edward and they resume making out*

**EC: **Just think, when you're a vampire, we can do this for hours without stopping... *grins*

**IWSB: **Shut up and kiss me, you sexy beast! :D

**EC: **Yes, master! I am your sex slave... :)

**

* * *

**

**A/N: This gets graphic... I'll stop here) :D**

**Hope ya'll like it. :)  
Come back soon for another chapter. Oh. And I do not own Charlie the Unicorn or that random potato with legs. :)**


End file.
